Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
