you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
