Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
