i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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