I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
