dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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