Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just found puke in my bra..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
