you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
