Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
