You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
