he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
