hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
