I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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