I must be too annoying 4 u.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
