I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
