We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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