sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
