a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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