OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
