We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
