there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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