I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
