apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
