Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
