Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
