That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
