so that wasnt chicken after all
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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