its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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