i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
