wakey wakey hands off snakey
one might say we're banned from that church
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
