I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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