420 ftw
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
