just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
