Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
