I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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