Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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