Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
