i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
