So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
