I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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