I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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