I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
