somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
