Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
COCAINE IS GR8
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
