I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
