yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
