I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
