That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
