Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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