about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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