sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
