but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
