i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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